


Façade

by ttfan111robstar1



Series: Little Boy Light [10]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Family Secrets, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hostage Situations, Hurt/Comfort, Hurts So Good, Little Space, Little!Light, Mama!Misa, Multi, Nursing, Pacifiers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Relationship Reveal, Revelations, Secrets, Tissue Warning, parental stress, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:53:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27738721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ttfan111robstar1/pseuds/ttfan111robstar1
Summary: Nothing is as it seems behind the façade.Light breaks down after his kidnapping, Misa cares for him, and many secrets come to light.
Relationships: Amane Misa & Yagami Sayu, Amane Misa/Yagami Light, L & Yagami Light, Matsuda Touta & Yagami Light, Yagami Light & Other(s), Yagami Light & Yagami Sayu, Yagami Light & Yagami Souichirou
Series: Little Boy Light [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637545
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Façade

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PrinceOfHell00](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceOfHell00/gifts).



> IT. IS. FINISHED.
> 
> Oh my GOD you guys, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to be able to say that. I started this story in MARCH of this year when I was in the hospital and after an eight month dry spell I finally finished it, and it feels so good. 
> 
> If you haven’t read The Great Escape, or if it’s been a while since you have, I recommend reading (or at least skimming) it for continuity purposes. 
> 
> Any line breaks in the story are meant to denote time skips or major point of view shifts.
> 
> There’s Adult nursing in this story, and original characters, and hostage situations. If any of those aren’t your thing, don’t read on. 
> 
> As always, the misspellings in Light’s narration are intentional, but you guys knew that by now.
> 
> I don’t own Death Note, although I wish I did because man that would be great.
> 
> For Mom, for helping me to transcribe my original hospital scribblings onto a document. For Pip, for rooting for this story when you aren’t even in the fandom. For Sam, and all the help you have given me making this story a reality. And for Sophie, for your endless supply of ideas, support, and laughter. Love you guys.
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoy this story. Because even though it drove me to the edge of my sanity several times, I had a blast writing it and have been so anxious to share it with you guys. Thank you for being so patient with me and for all the love you’ve given this series. I really couldn’t have made it this far without you all.
> 
> Without further adieu, please enjoy Façade!

On some level, she’d known this was coming.

It had been three weeks since their escape from the warehouse, two since their release from the hospital. Light had gone back to work at the Task Force immediately, despite Misa’s constant protests that he needed time to process all that had happened. _Slow down_ , she’d told him. _You need to take some time to deal with this_. Every time he’d brushed it off saying that he was working through it, because when he found The Man, Kira would bring him to justice and their problems would end. And so, she’d been forced to wait for his inevitable crash in the aftermath, and wonder just how far down the rabbit hole he’d go.

The moment came, surprisingly, in the middle of the night. She’d woken up to the sound of soft mewling cries in the room. In her twilight state, she wondered how a baby had gotten in the room, before she turned onto her side. Light was awake, crying softly in a way that made him sound so helpless, like a newborn baby. It occurred to her that this was, perhaps, what was at the end of the rabbit hole. A baby that needed her complete care and attention. So, she did the only sensible thing there was to do. She gave him his bear, binky, and blanket, got him changed into a diaper, and then nursed him until he fell asleep again before falling asleep herself.

One night, however, was certainly not enough time for processing. When she woke up in the later hours of the morning to hear him crying from a well-used diaper, she knew that neither of them were going to work today. She got him changed, bathed him, dressed him, and nursed him before she could put the call in to her manager to cancel her shoots for the week and reschedule them for later, because she had the flu before she made a call that was more important and more frightening. 

She had to call Soichiro Yagami.

It was true that the patriarch of the Yagami household did know bits and pieces of Light’s “activities”. After his breakdown at Task Force Headquarters, Sayu had given him the bare minimum of information to help him understand his son’s behavior. He had shown his acceptance of it by giving his son a children’s storybook. His acceptance of his son was further proven with how he dealt with his son after his escape from the warehouse and how he’d tried to console him when he’d been upset. But all those things happened with Light’s five year old self. Misa had no idea how he would react to a newborn, or something close at the least. 

She put on a cartoon in hopes that it would distract Light long enough for her to get his cell phone and hers. When he seemed sufficiently distracted, she dashed to the bedroom and grabbed both of their phones before moving back to the living room. Mercifully, he hadn’t noticed her absence. There would have most certainly been tears then. She got Chief Yagami’s number from Light’s cell phone and dialed it in hers. Then, she waited as it began to ring.

Soichiro Yagami had just pulled into the parking lot of Task Force Headquarters when his cell phone began to ring. Not recognizing the number, he answered carefully.

“Asahi.” He answered with a clipped tone.

“Mr. Yagami? It’s Misa.”  
  
“Misa? Is everything alright?”  
  
“I just wanted to call and let you know that Light won’t be coming into work today. Maybe not for a while. He’s not feeling like… His usual self today.” She said, hoping he’d get the message.

“I understand.” He said after a short pause. “He’s alright?”  
  
“Remember how he insisted on going back to work right after the… incident and everybody kept telling him to take some time away to deal with it but he didn’t listen?”  
  
“Yes, why?"  
  
“Well, I kind of expected him to have this sort of thing happen since he wasn’t dealing with it at all. What I didn’t expect was how far down the rabbit hole he’d go.” She said carefully.

“How do you mean?”  
  
“I mean he’s… Younger than usual.”  
  
There was a long pause as Chief Yagami took in the words, trying to process their meaning. Then: “How much younger?”  
  
It was the question she’d dreaded answering but the one that had to be answered in order to communicate the seriousness of the situation. Screwing up her courage, she spoke.

“A baby. Maybe a newborn.” She let the words hang in the air a moment before speaking again. “I don’t know what set him off but I heard him crying in the middle of the night. He’s only done something like this once before when he felt insecure but it was a conscious choice. But I get the feeling that it wasn’t a choice this time. I think everything got to be too much for him and this was his defense against it all.” She finished quietly.

Chief Yagami processed the words as she spoke them. The logic in them was surprisingly sound, and Light _had_ been putting himself under a lot of unnecessary pressure at Headquarters lately. Reaching a breaking point would be inevitable. Still, he couldn’t quite believe it was real. It had to be, considering it was Misa calling him and not his son, but it still seemed impossible.

It took a moment for him to regain his voice. “I assume you have everything needed to care for him?”  
  
“Of course. You don’t need to worry about that. I considered this possibly happening a long time ago and prepared for it. I’ve got it covered.” She promised.  
  
But he was worried. Very, very worried.

A beat of silence, then: “Could I come to see him after work today?”

Misa bit her lip. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I don’t want him to get upset about it when he’s back to normal. He’s had so much to deal with already…”  
  
“I understand that.” He cut in sharply. Then, softer: “But he is my son, and I need to see him. He can be angry with me if he wants when this is over. You can tell him it was my idea, even. But please… I need to see this for myself.

A moment of hesitation, then: “Alright.”

Soichiro breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I’ll let the others know Light is taking some time away.”

“Thank you. What time can I expect you?”  
  
“Eight?”  
  
“Alright. I’ll see you then, Mr. Yagami.”  
  
“Thank you, Misa. Goodbye.”  
  
“Goodbye."  
  
They both hung up.

Soichiro Yagami went into Task Force Headquarters that morning already feeling worn down by his worry for his son. Despite that, he still managed to calmly explain that Light was taking some time away from the investigation to deal with some personal issues regarding his kidnapping the previous month. Murmurs of agreement and sympathy from the others working the case reached his ears. Even ones from L, who agreed that Light hadn’t taken any time away from the investigation since becoming a part of it, and that it might do him some good. However, it didn’t lessen his suspicion of Light, and in fact increased it somewhat. Because even though he very well might have been taking some time away to sort himself out after the kidnapping, what he could do with that time as Kira could mean many lives lost.

As Soichiro Yagami struggled with his worry for his son while trying to concentrate on the investigation, Misa was facing challenges of her own. Taking care of a baby was hard, but taking care of one the size of a teenager was harder. She had, after the kidnapping, worked on building up her muscle and learning self-defense. She could pick Light up and carry him but only for short bursts and not for more than thirty seconds at a time. The first thing she’d learned about him was that he did not like to be left alone. She’d known that before about his little boy self, but as a baby it was highly exacerbated. If she was out of his line of sight, he cried. She’d only been able to take a shower because the glass of the shower pane was mostly see-through. She’d plunked a playpen she’d bought sometime ago on the bathroom floor, put him inside, and sang through the whole shower. Mercifully, he didn’t cry once and she had been able to shower in peace.

Nursing was yet another curveball. As a little boy he’d nursed once, maybe twice per day. She’d pump the rest of her milk and donate it to mothers who couldn’t nurse- easy. Now, however, he seemed to want to nurse every two hours, and it was almost painful because her nipples were so sore from the sudden increase in stimulation. Every time he cried, she leaked, and she herself was constantly hungry as well, so she made sure to have plenty of snacks on hand.

The diaper changes, surprisingly, weren’t all that different. Certainly there was an uptick in the number of changes she did, but the only real difference from before was that now she had to check to see if he needed a change since he couldn’t (or perhaps wouldn’t) tell her when he needed them. He was surprisingly still for the changes themselves, and she thought it might have been because he knew he had her full attention.

There were other, smaller changes. He crawled rather than walking. He refused a bottle any time she tried to give him one, even when it was full of her milk. He was picky about the puréed foods he was served when ordinarily he would have eaten anything he was given. He was prone to putting things into his mouth, and she had to be vigilant to keep him in check. She could tell when he was hungry when he made a fist, and when he was full when his hands were flat.

He seemed to be most content when she snuggled with him. His attachments to Bobo, his blanket, and his Binky seemed stronger. He didn’t go anywhere without them, and she shuddered to think of what might happen if they were taken away. In a similar vein, she dreaded his nap time because of the impending tears it would surely bring.

When the dreaded nap time rolled around, she got into bed with him, fully expecting a tantrum. Shockingly, he fell right to sleep, and in yet another surprise, she did the same. The exhaustion had taken it’s toll on the both of them. Two hours later, almost on the dot, she heard him crying.

It was time to begin again.

The day seemed to pass by in a blur. By the time seven thirty rolled around, Misa was exhausted, despite the extra rest she had gotten earlier. She got Light dressed and ready for bed, because as soon as his father left she planned on putting him to bed and following in his footsteps shortly after.

Soichiro Yagami, on the other hand, had never been more awake. His fingers flexed multiple times as he gripped the sides of the steering wheel, imagining what he might find when he got to his son’s apartment. When he’d first learned of his son’s choice, he had been surprised. Light had always been such a serious boy. But the more he’d thought about it, the more he realized that was partly his doing, and his wife’s. They’d wanted the best and brightest future for their son. They had emphasized doing well in school and, after Sayu had been born, the importance of being a good example. All of the “fun” aspects of childhood had ended after that. He couldn’t help feeling responsible. He’d bought the copy of “Peach Boy And Other Japanese Children’s Stories” as not just a show of acceptance, but a way of apology.

Then, his son had been taken. He’d spent weeks agonizing over what had happened to him. It was perhaps the darkest time of his life. Then, getting that phone call, hearing his son’s voice again, it was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. Racing to where his son was, he’d realized that all of his talks about motivation and success didn’t matter. None of it mattered as long as Light was safe, happy, and healthy. Getting to hug him again after all of that was just about the best feeling in the world. Oddly enough getting to speak to him in his “little boy headspace” (as Sayu had called it) was oddly healing for him. It made him feel as though he had gotten in on some missing years.

This situation, though, was uncharted territory. He didn’t know how Light would react to his presence, or if he would even react at all. He could only hope that he didn’t make things worse. Despite everything, he just wanted what was best for his boy.

The apartment came into his line of sight and his grip on the steering wheel tightened as he steeled himself for what he might find. He pulled his car into the parking lot and checked the clock. 7:58. The next two minutes might very well be the longest ones of his life. He had to force himself to exit the car slowly and walk calmly inside of the building instead of racing in as his body so desperately wanted to do. By the time he got to the door, he checked his watch.

8:00 on the dot. He took in a breath. It was time.

He knocked on the door and waited. Anxiety crept up his spine and tried to settle into his stomach, but before it could he heard footsteps coming from the other side of the door. There was indescribable relief in that. Finally, the door opened.

Misa Amane stood before him, looking exhausted. Her hair was limp against her face instead of being styled as it usually was, and she had forgone make up, leaving her complexion surprisingly sallow. She managed a smile for him, though he could tell it was somewhat forced.

“Good evening, Misa.” He said with a nod.

“Good evening.” She replied. “Please, come in.”  
  
He took in a breath before he took her up on it.

He heard things before he saw them. The sound of cartoons playing on the TV. The sound rang a dim bell in his head, plucked a string in his memory, as though he had heard it before. Then, he heard something else- something that definitely stuck out to him.

The time after Light had been born had been a blur for him. He’d been a rookie cop and a new father and hadn’t been home as much as he’d wanted to be. Justice before family- that was the deal he had made and brokered early on in his career as a father. But there were things from that time- smells, sights, sounds- that stuck firmly in his memory. One of them was the sound of Light cooing at him for the first time, and it was just like the sound he was hearing now.

Cautious, trepidatious, he went into the room further, and caught sight of his son.

In an oversized playpen, his son sat atop a powder blue blanket. Blocks, stuffed animals, toys that lit up and ones that made noise were scattered everywhere. Light himself was clad in a pair of navy blue footed pajamas decorated with stars all over them. A pacifier clip decorated in the same fashion attached a dark blue pacifier to the top of his pajamas. At the moment, he was playing with a ball that was soft on the outside but had something that jingled on the inside. Every time it jingled, he seemed to coo in wonder at it and try to figure out where the sound was coming from. One hand played with the ball, while the other gripped a brown teddy bear almost protectively, as if he needed it to keep him safe from the world- or perhaps vice versa.

Soichiro hadn’t been sure what he’d been expecting but this was not it. It wasn’t as… frightening as he thought it would be. He was still concerned, absolutely, but seeing that the situation wasn’t as dire as he had pictured took a great burden off of his shoulders. He was almost grateful for his anxiety blowing things out of proportion, because compared to what he’d thought this was almost a relief.

It took a moment for Light to realize he was there. When he did, he observed his father curiously for a moment, before joy shone in his eyes. Even with the pacifier, Soichiro could tell he was smiling. It made him smile too, seeing that obvious joy. In a job that dealt with so much darkness, true joy was a rarity. Light crawled over to him and offered him the ball. It would have been rude not to take it. At least, that was his line of thinking. He took the ball, hearing it jingle as he did. Light looked pleased and giggled happily.

A wave of relief swept in, heavier than God. All at once, he knew he could do this. All of his fear had been centered around not knowing what to do with his son while he was in this state. But it wasn’t so different now than it had been then. He just had to read Light’s needs. It was detective work, and that was something he excelled at.

He smiled, a surprisingly gentle smile coming from him before becoming aware of Misa’s eyes on him.

“He seems to be taking this well.” She commented.  
  
“Yes, I’d say so. When did you say this started?” He asked, watching as Light began to bang a block on the floor.  
  
“The middle of the night last night.” She answered. “I think he must have had a nightmare that triggered it. It’s the only thing I can think of.” She went up to him and ran a hand through his soft brown hair, earning a smile from him.

“My guess is that if it was a nightmare, this wouldn’t be the first one.”  
  
“Yes. I think so too.”  
  
They watched him for a few moments, saying nothing, before Soichiro straightened up.

“I should be going. It’s getting late.” He said.

“Of course, of course.” She said. “You can come back any time. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.”  
  
He gave a real smile for once, a smile that made the sides of his eyes crinkle. “I think I will.”

“Can you let Sayu know what’s going on in case I need help?”  
  
Soichiro nodded. “Certainly.”  
  
Soichiro ruffled Light’s hair before he and Misa headed toward the door.

“Have a good night, Mr. Yagami.”  
  
“You as well, Misa.” He nodded.  
  
Misa let him out the door, bolted and locked it, before sighing.  
  
It was time for the both of them to get some sleep.

* * *

L felt extremely uncomfortable in the next few days. He couldn’t quite figure out why. Every position he sat in felt uncomfortable, his cake didn’t taste quite as sweet, and he couldn’t quite get enough sugar in his tea. It took him a while to realize why it was so uncomfortable. Because Light was not there.

There was no wit to spar with or bounce ideas off of, nor was there somebody to run the technical portion of this operation. Matsuda was currently doing that in his absence, and was positively hopeless with it. Things were running about twice as slowly as usual because of it.

The thing that set his teeth on edge, though, was that he could not keep observational tabs on Light. It made him feel better when the young man was in his sights. If Light was going to create any problems, he’d much rather it happen right under his nose. Not having Light around made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, because God only knew what kind of trouble he was causing when he wasn’t there.

Kira wasn’t the only case the Task Force was taking on anymore. The kidnapping of Light and Misa Amane also was on their radar. Chief Yagami had managed to get that one from the current chief of the NPA for their small little faction to investigate. They all had a vested interest in the case because it had happened to their coworker. The things that that man did to Misa alone should have never been done to anyone. So now, not only was he tasked with tracking down Kira, but he was also looking for the man who had kidnapped the man who he suspected to be Kira.

Normally, tracking down common criminals like this was nothing to him. However, he had to admit he was intrigued by the man who had captured his foe. However, this man was also meticulous in what he did. The room where Light and Misa were held was clean of his fingerprints and DNA. Light hadn’t seen what the car he’d rolled out of looked like. There wasn’t a clothing fiber or hair fiber to trace him by, only Misa’s vague height and weight descriptions, and the color of his eyes- a deep, frozen blue.

He’d been keeping track of things in and around that warehouse. The only time he did not observe it was when he was asleep. About a week and a half after Light had taken time away, he’d been asleep, waking up after about an hour. It was then that he’d realized something. There was a car that had passed by seemingly a few days before. He remembered it- an ugly, clunky orange thing that had no business being on the street. He wasn’t quite as good at hacking as Light- he preferred to use his brain rather than rely on technology- but he managed to get the timestamp on it, and it confirmed his suspicions.

The video was on a looped recording.

The second he’d pulled up the timestamp, a message came up.

 _Two have escaped, but not for long. Soon, they will both be in the ground_.

Whether it was a message from the man who kidnapped Light and Misa, or from Light himself posing as Kira, or even perhaps a Kira that was not Light was irrelevant. If he did not do something, he would lose his prime suspect. He also had to believe, for the moment, that some kind of alert might have been triggered by his checking the timestamp. He whirled around.

“Matsuda, Ide, Mogi, Aizawa, get down to Light’s apartment immediately. I have reason to believe he and Misa may be in danger. Set up a protection detail.”  
  
“What about the chief?” Matsuda said as he scrambled from his chair.

“He is in a meeting with the director of the NPA about the results of both investigations but I will alert him and make sure he is made aware so that he will meet you there. I will also alert Misa to your coming. Watari and I will stay here to monitor suspicious activity.” He said.

With that, they were all off.

As L made a call to Chief Yagami, and Aizawa, Ide, Mogi, and Matsuda sped off for Light’s apartment, the day was a conspicuous one for Light and Misa. Misa had grown used to her new routine rather quickly, although her constant exhaustion was always present.  
  
She’d wake up at seven thirty, get Light changed, and nurse him. She’d bathe him, dress him, before she showered herself- quickly of course, because Light would fuss if she was in too long. She’d dress, then take him to the playpen before dragging it to the kitchen so she could prepare breakfast. She’d make instant oatmeal for herself, and make a purée for Light. Breakfast tended to be mashed bananas or puréed berries or applesauce, since he didn’t take too kindly to anything else. She fed him, and herself in between bites, before she did dishes, before it was usually time to change him. After that, She’d play with him in the living room until it was time to nurse him again.

Life was a progression of nursing, changes, meals, play, and sleep. It was much more simple that way, but doubly exhausting somehow. However, it was still rewarding. She was somehow tired and content and stressed and fulfilled all at once. It was a confusing cocktail of emotions to deal with, but she found it was so worth it.

She’d woken up that day and started it as she would any other. Got Light fed, bathed, and dressed, and did the same for herself. When all of that was done, she moved the playpen into the living room, flipped on the television, and turned on _Peek-A-Boo!_ with it’s bright primary color scheme. That show and reruns of _Baby Felix_ were their usual morning shows in this new normal, rather than the world news.

This time was her peaceful time. At first, she couldn’t get anything done around the house because Light would wail if she were out of his sight. Slowly, however, if she put cartoons on the TV, she could leave for periods of maybe ten or twenty minutes. It usually meant that she had to clean one room per day since she had to do it a bit at a time. Today’s task was cleaning the bathroom. She figured she ought to clean the shower and bathtub first, considering that it took the longest time to clean. She made sure the playpen was locked and that all the small objects were out of the playpen so he couldn’t chew on them or choke on them, before she was satisfied and went to clean the bathroom. She never went to the bedroom, never looked at her phone that had been left on silent. If she had, she would have found several missed calls from Ryuzaki.

She put on gloves and started with the shower cleaner, scrubbing the tub and then every tile with a sponge, getting it into the grout. There was a ring around the tub that she could never seem to get clean, no matter how hard she scoured it. She was as thorough as she could be, given the self-imposed time constraints. Then, she turned the knob, letting the shower cleaner wash from the tub before she would turn on the shower head as she always did. All the while, she kept half an ear out for Light. Despite the roar of the faucet, she could always hear if he cried.

It was around this time that Aizawa, Ide, Mogi, and Matsuda arrived at their apartment. Taking a cursory look around, they did not see Chief Yagami’s car in the parking lot, which made it even more important that they got in. Matsuda still had the key to Light’s apartment from when Light had hosted Task Force Headquarters. He had been entrusted with the key because, Light had been certain that A) Matsuda would call before coming, and B) Matsuda would never use that key without somebody home, even at L’s order- he was just too naïve.

They had their weapons and fake ID’s as they made sure the building was cleared. There was nobody suspicious in the building thus far, but the possibility of an intruder already being in the apartment still stood. They had their weapons drawn as they went to the hall where Light and Misa’s apartment was. The hallway was also clear. They had decided, collectively, to do a soft entry into the apartment. If the intruder was in the apartment already, then making their presence known could have alerted them and put either Misa or Light in more danger than they might have been.

Matsuda put the key in the first lock and turned it slowly, before sliding it into the second one. They took a moment to put their hands on their weapons in case it was needed before they slowly turned the key in the next lock. Certain- and technically not wrong- that L had called beforehand to let him know they were coming, Matsuda opened the door, Aizawa, Mogi, and Ide tailing him, all of them having their weapons drawn. They checked behind the door, the four corners of the room, before declaring it clear in soft whispers.

As soon as the immediate rush of adrenaline wore off, their senses returned to them. The sound of the TV being on came, and then the sound of the tub running in the bathroom reached their ears. There was no screaming, which eased their anxiety fractionally. The sound of the faucet running, however, troubled them. However, they thought it best to check the next room first before they spread out into other rooms. There was strength in numbers when they didn’t know what they might face.

The semi-circular couch was a kind of room divider. The kitchen and dining area was somewhat separated from the living room because of that couch. They couldn’t quite see over it because of that. The only thing they could see was the TV, blaring some show and emitting pastel colors. The way the light from the tv emitted looked somewhat disjointed. Something was in front of the set.

Carefully, cautiously, the four of them crept forward, wondering what they might find.

It was not what they were expecting.

There, sitting in an oversized playpen, was Light Yagami. A bear was tucked in one arm and a pacifier was planted firmly in his mouth.

It was a moment, frozen in time. Light hadn’t noticed them yet, but the four of them had _definitely_ noticed him. It was a freezing of gears in all of their heads, and then, almost simultaneously, pieces coming together like the last few clicks of a rubiks cube. The scene they’d witnessed between Misa and Sayu months before, Misa’s speech to L on that day, the reason why Chief Yagami hadn’t allowed any of them to visit Light in the hospital after the kidnapping. All of it wove together in a perfectly sewn pattern in a matter of seconds.

Then, the moment ended and time restarted itself.  
  
Light turned his head and saw them. They might have expected him to be embarrassed, to stammer explanations, to panic. It didn’t happen that way. There was no recognition for them in his eyes- they were blank. Then- he seemed to realize something. The moment wasn’t lost on them.  
  
“Light?” Matsuda asked, confused.

Light looked left, swiveled his head around, then looked right. But what he was looking for was not there. His face screwed up, and his breath hitched. Tears welled up in his eyes as he let out that first wailing cry.

A flurry of things happened all at once.

The front door opened, and all four agents had their weapons drawn before they recognized the face of Chief Yagami, panicked. Then, a clattering and flurry of footsteps. Aizawa and Mogi turned, weapons drawn to see Misa charging forward, peeling off gloves that stank of chemicals and throwing them in the sink as she passed it. She got to the living room area and vaulted over the couch, before reaching the playpen, unlocking it, letting the side fall, and scooping Light into her arms in a protective embrace.

“What did you do?!” The words were hissed, accusatory, as she bounced him up and down in her arms.

“What?! We were-“ Matsuda began before Chief Yagami cut him off.

“Is there anyone else in the house, Misa?”  
  
“No. Now would somebody _please_ tell me why you all are in my home?” The words were said shortly, and with intense anger.

“You didn’t get the call?”  
  
“ _What call_?”  
  
“Ryuzaki thinks somebody might be coming here.”

“You mean-“  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Misa let out her breath in a sour puff. “I just… I can’t right now. Let me deal with this first.” She said.  
  
“Very well.” Soichiro conceded.

With that, she focused her attention to Light, patting his back comfortingly and hushing him. It was only adrenaline that allowed her to be carrying him as long as she did. “It’s alright, sweetie. It’s okay now. Let’s get you changed and fed and then it will be time for Bobo, Binky, and Beddy Bye.” She cooed. She spun on her heel and carried him to the bedroom, leaving four stunned task force members and one very concerned father in her wake.

The four of them, jaws still agape, looked at Chief Yagami, who was almost disturbingly quiet. The only sign of his upset came with the slight shaking of a balled up fist.

“Chief…?” Asked Matsuda. It was careful, cautious.

“Did you not think to call Ryuzaki on the way here and ask if he had made contact with her?” His voice was strained, clearly trying to maintain his composure.

It was Aizawa who answered. “We did, but whether or not he reached her, it may have indicated something wrong.”

“And how did you get in?”  
  
“I have a key from when we had Headquarters here.” Matsuda was cautious, quiet.

“We thought doing a soft entry would be best in case the intruder was in here so that there would be less possibility for injury.” Mogi jumped in.

Silence, prickly as it would ever be, descended upon them in an uncomfortable blanket. The only sounds heard were Light crying in the back bedroom. It was a room full of people trying to gather up the pieces of themselves. They watched as Chief Yagami crossed the room and sank onto the couch, hands on the sides of his heads as he tried to process what had transpired in a matter of moments.

There was an exhaling of breath from Chief Yagami, that seemed to shake the prickly feeling from all of them. They hadn’t been sure what they had been waiting for, but it felt as though some invisible weight had been lifted from all of them. It was a sigh of defeat. What kind of defeat, they didn’t yet know. But they were certain they would find out. If there was one thing Matsuda, Mogi, Aizawa, and Ide knew, it was that Chief Yagami hated loose ends- receiving them, and having them in his life. They knew he would give them answers, if only because it would keep him up at night.

He would only give the bare minimum of information, of course. Enough to satisfy his own mind, and likely theirs.

“This is the result of a breakdown after the kidnapping he suffered. It is… likely not a conscious choice. Misa is taking care of it.” He said. There was a timbre in his voice that made no mistaking that what he said was the truth.

He didn’t say that something of this nature had been going on beforehand, nor did he say how long he had known this was going on. The men beside him should have been able to make their own deductions about that. It was, after all, the reason they were hired. His silence, he hoped, would close the subject. Sadly, that was not the case.

“Is that why you were worried that day about a week and a half ago?” Matsuda asked.

“Yes.”  
  
“Chief… If you were having some problems, you should have taken a day to get your head on straight. We can still carry the load without you for a day.” Matsuda said. “You and your family have been through a lot. We’d understand.”  
  
“Justice doesn’t take a day off, Matsuda.” Chief Yagami replied.

“No. But justice understands that those who fight for it are still only human. Sometimes humans need to take a break to be at our best.”

Every eye went to Matsuda. It was the most profound words they had ever heard come from his mouth. Then, if only for a second, a ghost of a smile hinted at Chief Yagami’s face.

As this went on in the front room, Misa was working on calming Light down. She kissed him and cuddled him for a while, making sure he had his comfort items, before she changed him. By that time, the cries had mostly died down to whimpers and occasional sniffles. She had put a rocking chair in the corner of the bedroom earlier in the week, thinking it a good investment. Rocking chairs often brought her back to her own childhood, when she’d sat on her grandmother’s lap in a rocking chair as a very small girl on her back porch and listen to stories about her days of performing. She’d found the rocker online earlier last week, and had it rush delivered. The way it took her back made it something she instantly wanted to get. She thought it would be good for Light, both now and in the future. After his change, Misa lifted him into her arms and sat in the rocker, laying him across her lap. That accomplished, she wrapped his powder blue blanket around him and started to nurse him.

She began rocking the chair the moment he latched on, and began to sing softly to him, hoping- perhaps in vain- that she could ease him into a nap. She looked down at him, stroking his light brown hair softly. The scent of him always brought her peace. He smelled sweet, like baby shampoo and talcum powder- the way he always did during their sessions of play, but now the smell was constant instead of being a pleasant rarity. She had to wonder- had no choice but to, really- if she would ever smell the scent of the Light that she had fallen in love with again. She missed that scent of fresh rain mixed with cologne with a hint of peppermint to give it spice. It wasn’t as though she was unhappy with the way things were right now- it was still very fulfilling- but she missed the balance of having both. She was just like any other woman in that sense- she wanted it all.

Still, she cherished this time. Even in his little boy headspace, she knew that he wasn’t completely uninhibited with his emotions as he was now. She knew by instinct that he would never be so unhinged again. Though she hated it when he cried, or when he got upset and banged his blocks on the carpet, or screeched in his anger, to know that he had the capacity to feel all of those things and express them was an enormous comfort. Every time he nursed from her, cuddled with her, or reached for her for comfort, it was the most pure expression of love and trust she could imagine, and that feeling was one she would never trade for anything.

She sang to him, watching the way his body relaxed and the way his eyes were beginning to slowly shut. She moved the blanket around him to cover him more, and keep him warm. His eyes, when they were open, looked up at her with eyes that held the knowledge that he was perfectly safe, completely loved, and always wanted. She gently pressed her lips to his forehead in a loving kiss. He let out a soft coo at that, and reached up to fiddle with the solitaire diamond necklace that was nestled in the hollow of her throat. It was then that she realized his hands were no longer fisted- his sign that he was done nursing. She slipped a pacifier into his mouth to replace her breast, and just held him and rocked him for a while, singing softly and giving him all the love she could muster with the softest, gentlest smile.

It wasn’t long before he was asleep. There was always a moment after he went to sleep, where Misa would watch him. Sometimes she would watch him for only a few seconds, or sometimes she could do it for hours. To see peaceful sleep overtake him, to watch the world fade away for him, it was mesmerizing. With all the hustle and bustle in his life in either his grown or little boy headspace, it was so wonderful to see him still. It seemed that he was never truly peaceful unless he was asleep. She adored that, just getting to see him calm and peaceful. She liked watching the tiny twitches of his body when he slept, or hearing the way he’d give an occasional suck on his pacifier as he slept. It was a quiet, peaceful period that somehow existed outside of the natural flow of time, where the both of them could just… be.

She moved ever so slightly to tuck the blanket underneath his chin, to try and cover him as much as possible. She enjoyed little things like that, getting to do small things to show how cared for he was- even if he wasn’t awake to know it. She sometimes feared that he forgot that with everything he went through on a daily basis. It was important to her to show him how cherished he was, especially in times like these when he soaked up love like a sponge.

The instant, as it was, ended when she felt the prickly feeling of eyes on her. She did not need to look to know that it was Aizawa, Mogi, Ide, and Matsuda. Their presence encroached upon the room, crowded in it, made it feel less… open. It was an understandable feeling, considering that this room held every intimacy between herself and Light. To have anybody intruding on this… almost sacred space, felt wrong. But she knew they wouldn’t leave. They never would, not now that they knew. She supposed it was a human instinct, the need to look, but she also wished that they would realize that they were intruding on a private moment and stop.

Her sigh was internal as she stood up, never jostling Light, and carried him over to the bed, laying him down as gently as she could, covering him with his blanket. He let out a small whine of displeasure, before wiggling himself into a more comfortable position. She let out a breath of relief. It was the first time she had not held him as he was napping, and she had feared he would wake without her. She fiddled with her necklace for a moment, not quite certain of what to do with her arms now that he wasn’t in them anymore. It was an odd sense of loss, a kind of aching she didn’t have a name for.

Then, realizing she would have to face the world, and the investigators eventually, she straightened her spine, squared her shoulders, and went to the living room.

They clustered themselves around the couch, all of them. Perhaps unwilling to acknowledge that they had strayed from where she had left them, perhaps out of embarrassment. Chief Yagami was the only one sitting down on it, however. The only one comfortable enough to sit. The way they didn’t immediately acknowledge her presence told her that they were embarrassed, but thought that she did not know they had been snooping.

Chief Yagami, however, acknowledged her immediately. “How is he?” Came the quiet question.

“Better. Sleeping now, thankfully.”  
  
“That’s probably for the best.”  
  
“Agreed.” She said, before turning to the other four. Her eyes narrowed to slits. “Would you mind telling me _why_ the four of you were spying on us?”

Matsuda, at least, had the decency to look embarrassed. The other three were only mildly chastened.

“It was… I mean we were… Um…” Matsuda stuttered.

Aizawa cut him off, saving him further embarrassment. “We just wanted to make sure he was okay. He was pretty upset.”

The fact that he sounded so reasonable about such a tremendous breach of privacy made her want to scratch his eyes out. She had to take a deep breath to give a measured response. “Your concern is touching, but I think it’s better if you go now.”  
  
“We can’t do that, Misa.” Mogi cut in. “There might be somebody coming here. We received a death threat.”  
  
Misa put a hand to her forehead. “Then guard the front door from the outside and the parking lot outside.”

“They will.” Interjected Chief Yagami. “I’ll stay here to keep watch from the inside.”

She put her hand down. It was as much privacy as she was likely to get under the circumstances. “Alright.” She sighed.

The four of them seemed surprised at the easy victory, but the truth was she was just too emotionally exhausted to fight them.

She went to the couch, and collapsed down into it. It was perhaps the longest time that complete quiet had come in the apartment in a long while. Despite the amount of people in the house, the TV was off, Light was asleep, and not a sound encroached the space. There had been moments of quiet in those past few weeks, but none so long when they were awake. Only in sleep was it ever completely silent. The sound of silence, loud as it was, was one she had sorely missed in these past weeks. She just hadn’t realized how much until now.

For a time, silence filled the apartment. There was no shuffling of feet heard, no quiet murmurs of voices. In an unspoken agreement, it was decided that they would wait to report back to L until after Light woke up. Waking him now would have been a monumental error in judgement, based on what they had seen. For now, though, they all wanted to enjoy the tranquility around them, since it was so often a rarity in their respective lines of work.

As time passed, Misa began to think about going back in to Light, so he wouldn’t wake up alone. Her eyes kept darting to the clock, watching as half an hour, an hour, an hour and a half ticked by. She decided at the hour and a half mark to go in and lay down with him. It wasn’t paranoid to want to watch him every second to make sure he was okay. That was just being a mother. She wasn’t anxious about it at all. Not she.

In the instant that she’d decided this, she heard Light beginning to cry.

She leapt up with a panther’s easy grace and strode toward the bedroom, grateful for the excuse to go and see him that didn’t make her look paranoid. She could admit to herself that she was a little- with everything that had happened to them she had every right to be- but she would never admit it to anyone else. Not even Light. However, she did not have to lie about the fact that him waking half an hour earlier than usual from his nap disturbed her. She worried something might have been wrong.

When she arrived, however, her fears were allayed. The cause of his distress was quite clear. Bobo was lying on the ground, far out of Light’s reach. That combined with waking up alone was certainly more than enough to set him off. She grabbed the teddy bear before she went to him, stroking his hair soothingly.

“Hey sweet boy. Are you missing something?” She asked, and held up Bobo. Light’s eyes affixed themselves to his comfort object, and he reached for it, whimpering eagerly. She smiled, handed it to him, and watched as he pulled his stuffed companion into a tight embrace. The tears stopped as quickly as they had started as Misa gave him a kiss, and then did a quick diaper check. He was clean.

She sat down on the bed, and pulled him into her lap to cuddle him for a while. It was unsettling, felt… _wrong_ when he wasn’t in her arms. It was like she was missing a piece of herself. She knew that, in this state, at least, he felt much the same. The only times she really set him down were to cook or clean. Otherwise, she was always holding him or touching him in some way. It was as though physical contact was a lifeline tethering him to earth. She felt much the same, except he wasn’t tethering her to earth, he was grounding her and helping her to fulfill her purpose in life.

She decided to take him to the rocker for a while. It had quickly become one of Light’s favorite places to be, and she hoped (most likely in vain) that the gentle rocking motion could get him back to sleep so he wouldn’t be fussy later. She sat in the rocker to read him stories or sing him songs or nurse him, so it was one of her favorite places to be as well- especially with Light.

Light, for his part, had curled into her. He was almost hiding himself in her chest. Though his gangly limbs were long considering his height, there was something about the way he was laying against her that made him seem smaller. He peered out slightly from where he’d buried his face and reached up to play with her necklace. He liked sparkly things- she noticed that right away. He was always staring at her jewelry stand when the sun hit it in the afternoon before his nap, and he liked looking up at the chandelier in the dining room. She always tried to have something sparkly on to appease him. It always worked, and he never pulled at it too hard. Whether that was because he didn’t have the motor skills in this state of mind to grip something that small to do it or for some other reason, she did not know. She might have given him one of her pieces of jewelry to play with were it not for the possible choking hazard. She thought about getting him some sparkly toys to assuage him, or possibly showing him the show she’d watched once- _Smile Pre-Cure!_ \- Because it had glitter and bright colors.

Light’s attention was drawn from the sparkly necklace to something rather interesting- a piece of Mama’s hair that was within his reach. He moved his hands from the necklace to bat at it like a cat with a ball of yarn, before his fingers wrapped around it and began to run over the shiny. He flicked at the piece of hair, totally transfixed by it, and let out a gurgle of delight. Misa angled her head toward him- both to give him better access to her hair and to lessen the pain in case he decided to pull on it- and laughed.

“What are you doing, baby boy? Huh?” She crooned, tickling under his chin to hear him giggle. “Somebody’s a happy boy now, aren’t you sweetie?”

His smile was her answer, the tears he’d woken up in completely forgotten.

She carded her fingers through his soft hair, and began telling him stories about her childhood, and the time she’d spent with her grandmother in a rocking chair much like this one. Light didn’t seem all that interested- preferring instead to fiddle with her necklace or the buttons on her top- but she could tell he was listening. It was a little while after that that she decided it was time to nurse him again. He’d been feeding every two hours so far, and she had a feeling that wouldn’t change. She moved her shirt so he could nurse, and covered them both with his blanket, as she sang to him quietly to calm him.

It worked better than she expected. He’d fallen asleep again shortly after, perhaps tired from being up so much at night. Her own exhaustion followed in short order. They both needed some sleep. Just a little rest to make the outside world go away for a while. She carried him to bed, before laying beside him, arms around him, and falling asleep.

About thirty minutes later, silent as the dead of night, the closet door opened. Footsteps crept across the carpet and then gently shut the bedroom door noiselessly. The slight _snick_ of the lock was barely audible. The curtains were drawn, enveloping the room in the anonymity of darkness. He needed that, needed the dark, for this to work.

His eyes adjusted to the darkness quickly, having grown used to it from the closet. He’d been camped out there since the early morning, waiting for the right time to strike. A fire escape and an unlocked window provided his way in, but he would be making sure there was no way out. Windows were latched shut, curtains were drawn, locks were turned. It was as close to fort Knox as he would ever get. He saw the shadowy outlines of the two figures laying on the bed. He didn’t care for the boy- never had, never would- but he was going to make sure that Misa Amane remembered him. Right before he killed her and her little brother.

He had to move with care. The boy could ruin his plan. He thought it might be better if he killed the boy now, seeing as he would be of no use to him, but that wouldn’t work. Not if he wanted to torment Misa Amane for what she had done.  
  
He still remembered the way his brother had talked about the young model. It was a kind of religious zeal that overcame his tone. He’d spouted off stories that the two of them were going to run away together, get married, start a life. The last time he had seen him was the day he was going to confess his feelings for her. He’d gotten the call later that day. His brother was dead. Coroner said it was a heart attack, but he didn’t believe it. He’d believed that somehow, some way, this was no accident.

He’d fixated on Amane as the reason his brother died. He’d gotten it in his head that his brother wouldn’t have died if it weren’t for her. The fire of his anger had been set ablaze that day, only getting stronger as the years had gone by. He’d gotten a job, and saved his money, starting the preparation for the room in which he would hold her.

He’d found the warehouse by pure luck. It was dilapidated, with a maze of rooms in it. It had once been a slaughterhouse. It hadn’t been hard for him to find a room to build into an impenetrable fortress. He’d spared no expense in crafting it. The steel door that slid open, the code lock on the door. He’d made sure to fill the one window with concrete, even if it did not have a view of the outside, because he didn’t want anybody seeing inside. What became the closet was just an offshoot of the room that he’d boarded up and enclosed so that she could have the illusion of privacy to use it as a bathroom. He would not give her the luxury of a toilet.

He’d gotten the bed, rug, table, chairs, two buckets, and a sponge and soap, and set up a kind of kitchen. A little burner used for camping and a pot to boil the water that came out of that leaky pipe to make it clean. He’d brought the food the day before, and finally deemed it ready for it’s sedentary occupant.

The abduction, however, hadn’t gone as planned. He’d studied her routes, her patterns of behavior. He’d been lying in wait for her in an alley, ready to take her. But she hadn’t been alone. He’d had to think quickly, knocking them both out. He was a burly man, mercifully, and managed to carry them both to the back of his delivery truck. It wouldn’t have looked out of place near the warehouse, and that was what he was counting on. He’d carried them both into the warehouse, through the maze of rooms, typed in the code to the door with a gloved hand, and tossed them both on the bed like the garbage they were.

They hadn’t known he’d installed tiny, almost microscopic video cameras in that room. Just by the door, of course. To ensure it couldn’t be opened. He’d watched her bang on that door for help, before realizing it wasn’t coming. She’d watched her care for the boy, whom he’d later found out, by her admission, was her brother. The boy had been a key instrument in his controlling her. She’d hidden him in the “closet” while he assaulted her in his brother’s name. Someday, he would grow bored of Amane, and leave them both to die in there.

Then, came that day. He’d come in to find her hunched over the boy, sobbing her eyes out and saying that he’d died from banging his head on the pipe. The kid was white as a sheet, blood coating his head. Nobody could have survived that. So he’d let her roll him up in that rug, and he’d carried the boy out, throwing him in the back of his personal truck.

It had been his greatest mistake.

The boy had leapt out, not dead, and apparently far smarter than he’d estimated. He’d started to run after him before he realized he’d needed to get out of town quickly. He’d put the pedal to the metal and drove. He knew they wouldn’t find any evidence of him in that room. He was meticulous about that. But the boy… He might be able to give a description of the truck. He’d drove as far as his tank would allow him to go, then abandoned the car in a scrap yard. He’d squatted in a shanty for a while, plotting his revenge on the both of them, before he’d stolen a car and doubled back, this time to Amane’s apartment.

He’d been stupid to not end her the first time he’d had her. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

He was very careful about how to do this. He reached into the pocket of his black sweatshirt- three layers of clothing and a pair of gloves on- and pulled out a pocket knife. It was a switchblade, so he wouldn’t cut himself, but he couldn’t be too careful, just in case. It was a standard issue, one he’d known was sold all around Japan. Cautiously, he got over to the both of them, being able to pick Amane out from the two of them in the darkness by her golden blonde hair.  
  
Then, carefully, he positioned the knife toward the boy and then, acting quickly, crouched down by Misa Amane’s ear, clamped a hand over her mouth, and whispered, “Scream and he dies.”

Misa’s eyes flew open, wide as saucers. Her sleep addled mind barely processed the image of a knife by Light’s neck in time to fight off her scream. She didn’t fight his hold, instead stiffening like a board as the hand stayed clamped over her mouth. She felt his warm breath on her neck, and it made her nearly shudder in horror as he spoke in another whisper. “Get up. Don’t wake him."  
  
It was going to be difficult to untangle herself from Light, but it would give her time to think, so that was good. As she slowly worked her hands out from under his body, she weighed her options. She could scream, but that risked Light’s Life. She could try and get the knife away from him, but that posed possible injury to both of them. It seemed her only option was to try and keep him talking, stall for time. If Light woke up, then Chief Yagami would be alerted. When he woke, she could try and fight the knife away. It was the only way to keep him safe.

She worked herself away from him slowly, and she had to stop a few times when he’d stirred, but finally, her arms were free, though partly numbed. Carefully, so as not to jostle the bed, she stood up, and felt the knife held to her throat. Though she was nowhere near okay with that, she was grateful the knife was no longer pointing at Light.

“Why are you doing this?” It was the smallest whisper, yet it seemed enormously loud in here.

“Shigetoki Momotami? The man who told you his feelings for you and died? He was my brother.” He said.

Misa’s eyes widened to the size of plates. _Her stalker…_

“He was the only family I had left after our parents died. I raised him myself. And just like that, he was gone, because of _you_.”  
  
Misa swallowed convulsively. “I didn’t kill him. I didn’t. I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I had nothing to do with it. Please…”

“If he hadn’t gone out to say how much he loved you that day, he wouldn't have died. It’s your fault. You took away the only family I had. And now, you’re going to pay for it.”  
  
“Take me, then. Please, just leave him alone.” She begged. “You take me. Just take me, but leave him be. He’s innocent.”

“Nobody who is related to you is innocent.” He hissed. “My brother loved you, and I never understood why. I despise you. I didn’t even want to touch your filth body because it was so depraved, but I did it because my brother loved you. I knew that whatever punishment I came up with for you would never be enough. You deserved the worst. And when you escaped from me the first time, I figured out what that was for you.” He paused. “You took away my brother. Now it’s my turn to take yours.”

  
All of her breath rushed into her body in a stifled gasp. It wasn’t loud, wasn’t even sharp, but it was enough to wake Light, though whether that was a mercy or not had yet to be seen. When Light woke up in the dark, with nobody there beside him, he did the only thing he could think to do and _wailed_.

“Shut up!” The Man demanded, before he took the knife from Misa’s neck in order to point it at him.

Misa saw her chance and took it.  
  
“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” She shrieked, tackling him to the floor and trying to get the knife away. “DON’T TOUCH HIM!” She yelled, refusing to be silent anymore. She’d almost gotten the knife when she found herself being thrown off of The Man, landing with a spectacular crash into her vanity. Make up flew all over the floor, and a jewelry holder fell on her head after she’d landed. Her mind had a second of being blank before her body began to act, trying to get up. She had to keep Light safe. She had to. Even if she died trying.

Chief Yagami was still in the living room when Light let out his cry. When he heard it, his heart kicked into high gear. Though he certainly hadn’t been home as much as he probably should have been when Light was a baby, he had absolutely learned the difference in his son’s cries during his first year of life. The way he cried now was not any different, and Soichiro recognized it immediately as Light’s serious cry. There was a disconnect of perhaps five seconds as the thought crept in that his son should be safe in his room, before the thought of somebody already being in the room and lying in wait for him crept in, and then his body was at his command again, running for his son’s bedroom.

He heard the sound of the front door opening, reacting to the ruckus inside, but he was too far gone. He heard Misa scream two things that his adrenaline would not allow him to hear. He went to the bedroom, went to open the door, but it was locked, so he began to try kicking the door down. It took three tries, before he kicked it open. The light from the hallway flooded the room, just in time for Chief Yagami to see Misa struggle to get up from a pile of wood that appeared to have been a vanity, judging from the shards of mirror on the ground. Then, he saw something that might very well have given him a second heart attack.

A man in a black mask holding a knife to his son’s throat.

He had his gun pulled, aimed at the man. So many times he had preached the concept of justice before family. But what if justice cost you your family? What then? He heard footsteps behind him, the sound of guns being pulled from holsters. He moved into the room so they could do the same.

“Put the knife down.” The words came from Chief Yagami without his permission.

“Not until this is done. Not until she pays for what she did.” He said, deep bass voice booming.

“Why are you taking it out on my son, then?”  
  
“To make her suffer. There’s nobody she’ll ever love more than him. I’ve seen it firsthand.” He said, eyes glowing with a strange, disconnected zeal. “I had to bury the brother I raised. I lost everything that ever mattered that day. There was nothing left for me except the memory of him. And he loved her.” He jerked his head toward Misa.

“So why don’t you? If he loved her, shouldn’t you?”  
  
“She was the reason he died!” He shouted. “If he hadn’t gone to see her that day, he wouldn’t have had that heart attack!”

“How do you know?"  
  
“WHAT?!”  
  
“How do you know he wouldn’t have had one anyways? Anything can happen to anybody at anytime. We don’t get to know when our story ends. Did you ever think that you’re using her as a scapegoat because you need someone to blame for your grief, because then you won’t have anything left of him?” Chief Yagami saw the stunned look on the man’s face. “Choosing the girl he fixated on, it wasn’t because you were angry at her, was it? It was because she was the last piece of him you had, wasn’t it?”

As this was going on, Misa had pulled herself to her feet. Her vision was blurry, and there was a bit of blood in one eye, but she saw The Man with Light and still cognitively understood what was happening. She had to save Light. Her vision came into focus on a shard of glass from her vanity mirror. She picked up the shard, then began creeping over to The Man while Chief Yagami sufficiently distracted him. She knew what she was going to do, she just had to get close enough. Matsuda was the only one who was in a position to watch her while still seeming as though his gaze was on The Man. His eyes widened as Misa drew closer, but he didn’t say anything, because he too thought he knew what she was going to do.

As soon as she got close enough, she took in a silent breath and then took her chance, cutting the back of the hand that was gripping the knife as fast as she could. His shriek was deafening, and he dropped the knife immediately. She kicked it away from him before he shoved him away from Light, and rushed Light away from him, picking him up and running as fast as she could, trying to get out. A hand snaked out and tried to grab her ankle, and she shrieked, before the sound of a gun going off signaled an end to the chaos. As quickly as the hand had grabbed at her ankle, it released, going limp on the ground beside her foot. She knew what it meant, and could only feel relief. That was, at least, until the pain kicked in.

She’d staggered out to the living room and somehow managed to set herself on the couch. Light was still wailing- some distant part of her brain was keeping tabs on that as her body moved of it’s own accord, bouncing him on her lap to try and calm him down. The pain in the back of her head was surreal. Her mind was somewhere far away from the apartment, some place far above them all in that place beyond the clouds, out of the flow of reality.

 _This is shock_. She told herself. _This is what it feels like when your body goes into shock. How strange._

Somewhere far below the ethereal place she was now in, there were things happening. Calls were being made, footsteps were sounding, doors were opening. EMT’s were entering the apartment, removing the body from the bedroom. Chief Yagami had taken a seat next to Misa and Light as Aizawa explained what had happened to them and the policemen sent from the NPA. Then, somebody was crouching in front of her, talking to her. She attempted to come down from the ethereal place and fit herself back into her body, but it was like an over-washed sweater- it just didn’t fit right. She caught bits and pieces of what the man was saying but not all of it.

“…Name is Daijiro… EMT… Tell me your name?”

Somehow, she fit herself into her body enough to speak. “Misa.”  
  
“Misa… Know where you are?”

“Not in my body. Shock.” Somehow she managed that.

“Okay… Going to put this ice pack… your hand… Squeeze it for me?”

Something cold touched her. The ice pack. She was supposed to squeeze it now. She knew that. Her fingers didn’t want to listen to her. It clicked for her then that maybe she’d hurt her hand with the glass shard. She still had to try anyways.

  
“Good… Doing good.”

Slowly, she came back down enough to be able to inhabit her body enough to hear and speak completely.

“He needs a bath.” She murmured.  
  
“What’s that?” Daijiro asked her gently.  
  
“Light needs a bath. It’s almost time to feed him, and he’ll need a change. I need to get the glass off the bedroom floor. He’ll cut himself to ribbons on it if he gets on the floor. And I’ll have to clean up the blood… Throw out the wood that used to make up the vanity or he’ll get a splinter…” She was still mumbling, but it was a bit clearer now.

“You don’t need to worry about that right now.” Chief Yagami told her. “I’ll have Sayu come over to help me look after Light. You need to go to a hospital and be checked out for a concussion and possible stitches.”  
  
“No.” The word was said very clearly. “I’m not going to leave him when he needs me the most. Call Doctor Nakamura and see if he’ll make a house call. He knows us. I’ll pay him out of pocket for it. But I can’t leave him. I can’t. I won’t.” She said.  
  
Chief Yagami and Daijiro looked at each other.

“I… Can give him a call.” Daijiro said slowly. “Can I take a look at Light? Would that be okay?”  
  
Her hold on him tightened immeasurably. “ _Nothing happened to him_. He didn’t get hurt. I made sure, I did.” Her voice was fierce, before dissolving into whispers as though she was trying to convince herself of the fact.  
  
“You did.” Chief Yagami said, as reassuringly as he could manage. “But he needs to be looked at. That’s how you’ll make sure he’s taken care of.”  
  
Slowly, she nodded. “Don’t take him off of my lap. He’ll panic.”  
  
“Alright.” Daijiro said softly.

Carefully, he examined Light. There were no cuts or bruises to speak of, no injuries he could find. She was true to her word. He was certainly scared and shaken up, clearly clingy, but physically unharmed. This was perhaps the strangest situation he’d ever been called to, but the fact that the boy was unharmed was as good as anything. He wrapped up Misa’s hand as well as he could before he went to call Nakamura.

Meanwhile, Light clung to Misa, wailing away. He couldn’t understand what had happened. He was having a nap when he’d woken up alone and then Mama had been screaming and then there had been a scary man holding something against him and he didn’t like it! And even though Mama and Daddy were both here he wasn’t happy. He needed a change and he was hungry and he was scared, really scared.

Misa, meanwhile, cradled him as she spoke to him. “I know, sweetie. I know. My poor baby. Mama’s here. Mama’s right here. It’s alright now.”  
  
It occurred to her in a moment of clarity that her appearance might have frightened him. She blinked a few times, trying to get herself to move, and got a tissue to wipe the blood from her face. That felt better, at least. She turned to Chief Yagami.  
  
“Could you… Could you call Sayu? I’ll need a bit of help looking after him and I don’t know if I should get up.”

“She’s already on her way. I called her after the paramedics and the NPA.” He said.  
  
“Good, good.” She said. “He needs a change and he needs to be fed. She can help with the change. I don’t want him getting a rash.”  
  
“I can change him.” Said Chief Yagami.  
  
Misa turned to look at him, feeling her head throb as she did so. “Are you… Are you comfortable with that?”

Soichiro shrugged. “After a day like today, it doesn’t matter how I feel. What matters is that he’s okay.”

“Alright.” She nodded. “We’ll have to do it here. He absolutely won’t let go of me, I guarantee that. Everything is in the bathroom under the sink.”

Soichiro Yagami nodded, and went to retrieve everything while Misa continued to work at calming Light down.  
  
The NPA members began to exit the room, Aizawa saying he would take statements from Chief Yagami and Misa and Light when he came out of his state. Mogi, Ide, and Matsuda were helping the crime scene investigators in the bedroom. That left Misa and the paramedics, who were staying on scene until Doctor Nakamura arrived, keeping an eye on Misa’s vitals.

Chief Yagami swept back in a minute later, Carrying supplies. The paramedics except Daijiro all exited to give them a bit of privacy- or at least the illusion of it.  
  
“Are you sure you want to stay?” Misa asked him.  
  
Daijiro smiled. “My little sister has downs syndrome and hasn’t managed to potty train. I changed her diapers well into her teens before I left home. Doesn’t bother me one bit.”

Misa smiled and decided that she liked this man. “I appreciate the open-mindedness.”

He smiled a little. “The world could use a little more of that.”  
  
“True.”

Chief Yagami, in the meantime, began the change as best he could. It was more than a little uncomfortable for him. He hadn’t done this in nineteen years, and the fact that he was was more than a little surreal. However, considering everything that happened, his son had every right to feel victimized, traumatized, and unsafe. It was his job as a father to make sure his son was taken care of, and if this was part of that, then he’d do it. The fact of the matter was that right now, his son was a baby, and he wouldn’t ever leave a baby to sit in his own filth- especially his own son.

It was difficult with his son still crying, but he was still able to manage. He was mildly surprised Misa was able to manage this. She was such a tiny little thing that he might have imagined this difficult for her. It was difficult even for him, but nonetheless he carried on. He was very taciturn in how he handled it. He never grimaced, never showed any signs of being disgusted, or upset, or uncomfortable. He wanted to demonstrate calm to Light so that he could follow in that example.

Slowly but surely, as Chief Yagami changed him, Light’s cries lessened in intensity. He was still crying and upset, but at that point, they had lowered in volume. Soichiro found himself smiling a little at the idea that he eased Light’s pain even a little. That was comforting to him. Then, he noticed that one of Light’s hands was curled in a tight fist. He remembered what that meant too.

“Sayu should be here shortly. I’m going to go help Matsuda, Ide, and Mogi.” He said. “Daijiro, would you mind checking in with the other paramedics to see that they have the supplies that Doctor Nakamura will need when he arrives? See if you may have to make a supply run?”

Daijiro, not completely understanding why he was being sent away, but knowing that it was a tactic for Light and Misa getting some time alone, nodded. The machine attached to Misa would beep loudly if Misa’s blood pressure dropped or spiked to a dangerous level. He followed as Chief Yagami made an exit toward the bedroom.

Misa let out a soft sigh of relief as the room was clear, and she unbuttoned her shirt so that Light could nurse from her. He latched on immediately, and she nearly yelped at his urgency. But then, when she felt the tingling sensation of her milk beginning to flow, his urgency calmed to a steadier rhythm. The release of oxytocin was welcomed in her anxiety-ridden and shocked mind. She let out a sigh of relief, and cuddled her baby close. This day had been far too much for the both of them, and they needed some time for things to be normal.

She began crooning a song to him, and felt him melt into her arms like butter. He was finally calming down. Thank goodness. Seeing him calmer helped her feel the same way. The adrenaline and the shock were wearing off now, and she felt drained and yet somehow more alive than she’d ever been. This was just too close a call.

She was so enraptured with nursing him, that she did not hear the sound of footsteps approaching them. A scoff sounded beside her, and she turned to them. A paramedic, definitely not Daijiro, was looking at her, carrying a first aid kit.  
  
“Can I help you?” She said, clearly annoyed.

“Can’t believe there are still people like you out there.”  
  
“ _People like me_?” She repeated, incredulous.

“Perverts. Letting a full grown man suck your breast. As if you could provide him anything, let alone milk."

For a second, maybe two, shock descended upon her again. Then, his words clicked in her head, and she felt anger- the hottest, most intense, most burning kind of anger she had ever felt- overtook her. Her heart rate spiked, and she heard the blood pressure monitor beeping because her pressure had spiked so high. The sound of footsteps running in, but she didn’t focus on them. She focused on the man, and it took everything she had not to get up and start a fight with him over his insensitive words.

“You think you know anything about this? You think you know what we’ve been through?” She was incensed at the accusation. “We were kidnapped together, locked in a room with little food, water from a leaky pipe, and a bucket for a bathroom. I kept him in a closet when the man who just tried to kill both of us just now was raping me. I gave him my food to try and keep him alive. I was ready to die just to keep him going. And the fact that I was able to nurse him was what kept him healthy. I hatched a plan, and he escaped and saved my life. But he didn’t deal with it. His mind defended him by regressing back to a baby. And in all of this, the way I choose to feed him is the shock in all of it? I worked to start nursing so I could donate my milk to mothers who were unable to nurse their babies, and the fact that I was able to do it for him might have saved his life. You have absolutely no room to speak about this. You are way out of line. If I wasn’t nursing right now, I would knock you to the ground. You have absolutely no right to call him or me a pervert _in my house_. Get the fuck out of here and don’t you _dare_ come back.” She growled fiercely.

Complete and stunned silence. The only sound was the continuous beeping of Misa’s monitor, which Daijiro quickly shut off. The Task Force members, smart as they were, ushered the paramedic who dared open his mouth away. Slowly, Misa exhaled her breath, and her blood pressure was beginning to drop back down to marginally normal levels. She closed her eyes for a minute, trying to center herself again. Then, she reopened her eyes, turned her head, and focused on Light again, who was whining a little as he nursed at the anger in her voice. She rubbed his back soothingly and hushed him.  
  
“It’s okay, sweet boy. I’m not mad at you, I promise.” She cooed, stroking his cheek.

That seemed to placate him, and the whining stopped, him continuing to nurse from her in silence.

She began to sing to him, watching as he clumsily reached a hand up to try and fiddle with her necklace again. The sight made her smile. She definitely was going to put on some cartoons for him involving glitter. He deserved the chance to forget any of this every happened. God only knew she wished she could. He nursed from her, switching sides only when she shifted him in her arms. She stroked his hair, cuddled him close, and kissed his head. As much as he needed her to comfort him, she needed his presence to comfort her too. His weight in her lap grounded her, kept her tethered to reality, kept her from losing her mind.

When he was done, she burped him, then re-buttoned her shirt. She held onto him, rubbing his back, stroking his hair, cradling him as close as she could. She just wanted to see him smile right now. He’d been through more than enough in the past month. She knew his sides were ticklish and she wanted to hear him laugh. She tickled him, and listened to him giggle. The sound was so delicious that she couldn’t help smiling herself, before she did it again. He kicked his legs, squirming as he laughed, and she finally felt free to laugh herself.

Not long after, Sayu strode through the door. Up until that point, Misa felt that she had been holding up well. But the second Sayu sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders in a hug, she broke down crying. Sayu just hugged her as she cried. Her sense of failure was overwhelming. After all they’d survived, the man had still managed to sneak his way into their home and violate them again, and she felt so terribly responsible for it. Logically, she knew that there was nothing she could have done, but she felt responsible anyways, because keeping Light safe had fallen on her shoulders when he was in this vulnerable state. Her perceived failure to protect him from more harm was the most black kind of horror that she could imagine.

She didn’t want to upset Light by being upset herself, but her emotions refused to be quelled. Despite her refusal to acknowledge it at times, she was still only human, and had every right to grieve that fact when she was constantly trying to be superwoman for everybody else. She pressed Light close to her body as she sobbed into Sayu’s shoulder.

“He _touched him_! He touched my baby and I, I couldn’t… I’m so sorry I failed him. I-“

“ _Stop_.” The word was said harshly as Sayu looked Misa right in the eye to be sure the message sank in. “ _Do not_ let yourself go down that road. You couldn’t have stopped the actions of one deranged psychopath. You did everything you could to keep Light safe. He knows that, and he’s not going to be upset with you for it. He knows you’d never let anything hurt him, and that’s why he wants you to comfort him. Because he knows you love him and will keep him safe.”

As if to confirm that, she felt a hand on her cheek, patting it. She turned, and saw Light, eyes glistening with unshed tears, trying to give her comfort. She smiled, and pressed his hand to her cheek. His mouth opened, and he managed two sounds.

“Ma… Ma…”

She couldn’t help letting out a little sob at that as she leaned down to kiss his forehead. It was just what she’d needed, and it proved to her that somewhere, he was still in there. Sayu handed her a tissue, and she swiped at her eyes before blowing her nose. The sound of the door opening sounded, and she realized that must have been Doctor Nakamura. She took in a deep breath and let it out, turning to her friend.  
  
“Thank you. I needed that.”  
  
Sayu smiled. “No problem. Now, how about you let me see my favorite little brother while you get looked over, hmmm?”

Misa hesitated momentarily, not really wanting to let go of him, before she relented. “Alright.” She said, and moved him into Sayu’s lap. Light gave a disgruntled noise at being moved, but quickly found himself involved with playing with his sister’s hair. Sayu laughed.

“What are you doing with sissy’s hair, baby boy? Hmmm?” She crooned. Light seemed to pay no mind to her, just fixating on her brown hair. It wasn’t until he tried to put it in his mouth that she stopped him. “Woah there, little man! Let’s get you a pacifier to chew on instead of my hair, huh?” She said. She got the pacifier from the clip on his pajamas and popped it into his mouth. “That’s better.” She cooed.

“Put _Smile Pre-Cure!_ On the TV. He likes things that are glittery. It’s a good distraction.” Misa called from her spot at the dining room table where Doctor Nakamura was currently pulling shards of mirror and splinters from her cuts as she tried not to wince.

“Got it!” Sayu called. She reached and grabbed the remote to try and get it on the TV.

She fumbled with the remote a moment, before she managed to find the show. In the next instant, the bright colors filled the TV screen, and seeing the glitter on it made him smile and laugh.

The sound made Misa relax a little against her chair, something for which Doctor Nakamura was grateful.

“It’s good to see you calming down.” He said. “The stress wasn’t doing you any favors at the moment.”  
  
She sighed, then winced as he pulled a shard from her cheek. “Sorry. Been a long day.”  
  
“I can only imagine.” He said, putting the shards and splinters into a little bowl. “You should take some time for yourself today. You need to deal with this just as much as he does.”  
  
She chuckled weakly. “You act as if I don’t have responsibilities to take care of.”

“I act as though you have many to take care of, but you won’t be able to do that if you don’t take good care of yourself.” He countered.  
  
“Touché.” She muttered. “I just can’t… I just can’t make myself leave him. After what happened… He needs to feel safe.”

“It’s not just you that makes him feel safe, you know. You can afford to let someone handle that for a little while, even just an hour, while you do something for yourself.”  
  
“I guess. I just… I don’t want to. I… Don’t want to let him go.”

“That’s understandable.” The doctor said as he plucked out a splinter. “After what the two of you have been through together there’s bound to be a certain amount of bonding over the shared trauma between you.” He dropped the splinter into the bowl. “It’s understandable that you feel that only you can protect him considering that was all you did when you were in isolation. But now that you’re not, it just might be time to let that notion go and allow yourself some personal time. He’s in very good hands from what I can see."  
  
Misa glanced over and saw Light entranced by the TV and giggling in Sayu’s lap, and found herself smiling a little bit. “He is. I just… I don’t know. This isn’t just about him, it’s about me too. It is a lot of work taking care of him, of course, but there’s nothing I’d rather be doing either. I might be worn out but I’ve also never been more fulfilled. He needs me, and nothing feels better to me than that. Taking care of yourself means doing things you love, and I love taking care of him.” She said.  
  
“Maybe it could involve getting a shower and hot meal for yourself too?” He suggested. “Considering he seems content at the moment.”  
  
Misa chuckled. “That’s because I haven’t left his sight yet.”  
  
“Ah, of course.” He said, taking a final shard of glass from her wounds. Then, he began to disinfect and bandage them where necessary. “Still though, at least do that much for yourself. You’re no good to him if you don’t take care of yourself too.”  
  
She smirked. “Doctor’s orders?”  
  
He chuckled and gave a smile back. “Most definitely.”  
  
“Well, I guess I can’t argue with that.” She smiled.

“It would be inadvisable to do so.” He grinned, putting the last bandage on her. “Alright then. Now that we’ve gotten the glass and splinters from you, let me see your eyes.”  
  
She looked at him as he shined a flashlight in them. “Your pupils are responsive, so that’s a good sign. Any headache, nausea, fatigue, blurry vision, or a ringing in your ears?”  
  
“Fatigue, but I think that’s normal considering I don’t sleep most of the night. I had blurry vision for a second after I hit the vanity but I think that was because there was blood in my eye. It’s gone now.”  
  
“Do you feel confused, like you’re in a fog?”  
  
“No. I did for a little bit before you came but it wasn’t confusion exactly. More like shock.”  
  
“Are you dizzy or seeing stars?”  
  
“No. A little hungry though.”

“Alright.” He said. He then had her stand up and walk an invisible line to check her balance, before testing her hearing, strength and sensation, memory, concentration, and her ability to recall information.  
  
“Well, from what I can tell at the moment, you don’t have a concussion. I’d like to see you in two days, though, just to be sure. Some signs don’t always make themselves apparent right away.” He said. “If you feel you aren’t able to drive, then we can send someone to come and get you and take you to our private entrance in one of the pavilions so that you won’t be bombarded with questions if Light isn’t himself again by then. I know that’s the last thing you probably need right now.”

Misa let out her breath in a puff, a quick sigh of relief. “It is. Thank you.” She said, gratefully. “Can you give me anything for the headache?”

“Tylenol should do fine, or ibuprofen.” He said.

She gave him a smile, though it was a bit strained. “Thank you, Doctor Nakamura. For coming, I mean. It really means a lot to me, and I know it will to Light too.”  
  
The doctor, in turn, gave her a fond smile. “You’re welcome, Miss Amane. To be honest, it’s refreshing in my profession to see two people who care so much for one another make it out of the other side together. Makes me feel good about what I do.” He said.  
  
She smiled. “Thank you.” She paused. “Can I expect your bill in the mail?”  
  
“This visit, I’m doing pro bono.” He said.  
  
“Pro what?”  
  
“Pro bono. Free. You two have already been through more than enough. You don’t need my bill on top of it. Just take care of yourselves, okay?”

She didn’t have words for the gratitude she felt, so instead, gave a meager offering of “Thank you. We will.”

Doctor Nakamura smiled, packed up his bag, and went on his way, taking Daijiro and the other paramedics with him.  
  
With the paramedics and the NPA gone, all those that were left were the task force members. Crime Scene cleanup had swept through briefly, only long enough to get the blood out of the carpet. The other task force members had made themselves of use by cleaning up Glass and pile of wood that remained of Misa’s vanity, getting her jewelry from the wreckage, and making sure that her make up wasn’t hiding any splinters or glass bits. It was coming along quite nicely. Aizawa hauled away the large pieces, Matsuda collected jewelry, Ide vacuumed the glass and splinters, and Mogi made sure there was nothing in her makeup.

Chief Yagami was the only member of the Task Force who had not busied himself with cleaning up the bedroom. Instead, he chose to stay with his son and daughter.

He was only partially present in the room, absently stroking his son’s auburn locks as his mind was locked in a different time. As a young father and rookie cop, he’d spent much of Light’s infancy and childhood climbing his way to the top of his career. Every change of position meantmore financial security for his family and more justice being served to those who needed or deserved it. But the consequence was a lack of emotional availability to his children. Sachiko had been the one to kiss scraped knees, calm tantrums, and hold wailing babies at three in the morning. His wife had never once resented any of it, but he found himself weighed down heavily with the consequences of the choice he made all those years ago. Becoming the chief of the NPA was the greatest responsibility he could have undertaken, and because of his position on the task force, he felt himself a mere shadow in the lives of his children. He wasn’t home enough to see Sayu often, and although he and Light were together constantly at work, he’d come to realize that he didn’t know much about who his son was as a person on the whole. Aside from knowing how he was doing in school, he hadn’t bothered to ask about the girls he was interested in, knew nothing about the music he liked, or what book he may have been reading.

Apart from Misa being his girlfriend, his own son was practically a stranger to him.

The day that he’d discovered his son’s choice of regression had changed all of that. For the first time in perhaps all of his years as a father, he felt a kind of peace. He couldn’t have explained why he’d felt that way then, but now, looking back, he knew why. Fate had offered him an olive branch and implored him to take it. All of his mistakes, all of his chances left untaken, all of those moments he’d missed could be recreated as they would have been had he been there for his son’s childhood. And though it was bizarre and he had been admittedly confused and concerned by this sudden revelation, he couldn’t help but feel relax. Finally, there was an opportunity to be present in his son’s life.

And then, _that day_ had happened and turned his world upside down. He’d gotten on the streets, searching every corner for his son. He’d plastered missing posters down every street. He’d held his wife and daughter as they sobbed and grieved, fearing that their beloved son and brother might just be gone. He’d realized in that moment how much of a bandit time was, because at any moment, the life one lives could be drastically altered, and second chances could be revoked. He’d blamed himself for not being there, and not having used his borrowed time more wisely. He’d vowed from that point on to make the most of every moment he had. And if, by some stroke of luck, he managed to see his son again, he’d make certain to show how important he was to him. He would never take that for granted again.

Days turned into weeks that grew more and more bleak. He knew the statistics for those who went missing. Unless Light was being held in long term captivity, he was likely dead. It had weighed down his entire being, having that knowledge attached to him like a shadow he couldn’t get rid of, and he’d soldiered on by force of Will alone.

Then- a miracle. He’d picked up the phone and heard his son’s voice again. It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard, and he’d drove twenty miles per hour over the speed limit just for the chance to see him. The moment his son had been wrapped in his arms again, he’d come to a realization. It didn’t matter if his son enjoyed being a child again, nor did it matter what he did for work. What mattered was the gift of more time that the two of them had been given, and he’d been determined to make the most of it.

It was for that reason that he’d shown no disdain or disgust when Light had needed a change or when Misa had nursed his child. Such things were just tiny blips on the spectrum of time. And whether he liked it or approved of it or not was irrelevant. What mattered was that he was there for his son, just like he should have been all along. And though it was bound to be a difficult road ahead for his son to walk, he would be sure to walk beside him, so he didn’t have to do it alone.

Now, stroking his son’s hair, and hearing those small coos of happiness, he found himself smiling. This was as great a second chance as he’d ever get, and he was determined to make the most of it. So, he pulled his son into his lap and just sat there a while, stroking his hair and enjoying the moment.

Sayu, seeing this, just smiled. Her baby brother could wrap anyone around his finger, and their father was just as helpless to his charms as everyone else.

As Soichiro bonded with his now-infant son, Misa nervously tried to follow the orders Doctor Nakamura had given her. A hot meal and a shower should have been two incredibly simple tasks- easy to knock off her to do list. But her mind was running in all directions, conjuring up scenarios of what could go wrong. What if Light needed another feeding? What if she passed out in the bathtub from a concussion that hadn’t showed right away? How was she going to manage to do all this without hearing her baby cry?

She had to grip the back of a chair in order to get a hold of herself. When all the bad thoughts had run their course, she let go, vowing to do something small. Something attainable.

She decided to make eggs. Cooking them didn’t require much thought or effort and she could still easily keep an ear out for Light if he needed her. It had the protein she needed, and it was- technically speaking- a hot meal. One, at least, that was attainable. So, she went into the kitchen and began preparing scrambled eggs. She kept glancing over her shoulder, expecting Light to be upset or scared, but every time, he was in perfectly content laying in his father’s lap and taking his glasses from his face. It quickly occurred to her that perhaps she was just being paranoid, and overprotective- though not without reason. Still, she needed to be content with this little moment to herself, because she didn’t know when another might come.

The eggs didn’t take long at all to make, and she suddenly realized just how hungry she was when the smell hit her. She put the skillet in the sink, got the eggs onto a plate, and began shoveling forkfuls in her mouth as quickly as she could. It was perhaps the first time she’d really cooked something in the last week and a half instead of reheating leftovers, and it tasted like heaven.

When her plate was cleaned and her dishes were put away, it was time for a shower. This frayed her nerves far more than making a meal did. With guests in the house, she would have to close the bathroom door. Once that happened, it would be anyone’s guess as to what would happen in her absence. She didn’t want to do it, but she had promised Doctor Nakamura, and much as she was loathed to admit it, he was right. She had to take better care of herself so she could give Light the best care possible.

Sighing, she went to her bedroom. Matsuda was there alongside Aizawa, getting the remains of her vanity cleared away. They briefly murmured hellos, but she was too busy worrying about everything else to notice any awkwardness in the interaction. Her hand only hesitated momentarily when reaching for the closet doorknob, but then, she opened it and went in.

Combing through the racks she found a gray nursing camisole she’d worn in a shoot from what felt like a lifetime ago. The company had heard of her milk donations and had offered her some free merchandise If she’d promote them. In all the chaos lately, she’d forgotten all about it. Now though, she grabbed it, and a pair of black leggings to compliment it, before she made her way to the bathroom. She felt her heart skip one beat, then two, before she finally shut the door and turned on the shower.

When the warm water began cascading down her back and over her shoulders, she felt her anxiety lessen dramatically. It was easier to calm down and relax when she was actually in the shower, rather than dreading the event itself. Still, though she relaxed, she got a move on with her routine rather quickly. Just because her anxiety wasn’t as awful didn’t mean that she didn’t feel that invisible sense of urgency to get back to Light. It was always there when he wasn’t in sight, niggling at the back of her brain, and wouldn’t be quieted until he was back in her line of vision.

She did allow herself the luxury of five minutes after she was done washing herself to just breathe and let all that had happened that day sink in. With the water running over her, she felt safe to do so. She’d been scared and in shock and enraged and ridden with guilt. All those feelings had hung over her like a black cloud. And yet, she was still there. She had made it out the other side, despite all the odds having been stacked against her. She was proud of her ability to overcome. So, having acknowledged what had happened and having processed it as best she could, she did her best to let the black cloud dissipate. It was time to get out of the shower and get on with her life.

She’d dressed quickly, not bothering to do her hair or makeup. It would have been a waste of her time, considering she wasn’t going anywhere today. When she looked decent and smelled good, that was all that mattered. Anxiously, she opened he bathroom door, and watched as the warm steam that still hung in the air let out a long breath as she walked into the hallway.

The first thing she noticed was the sound of silence. Light wasn’t crying, and that eased her mind tremendously. Going out to the living room, she found that he’d fallen asleep in his father’s lap. Despite having a nap, this day had been tediously long, and she was happy he was getting some rest. Having him in her sight was an enormous relief, and she at last allowed all her muscles, once tensed, to relax.

She walked over, smiling. “How long has he been asleep?” She whispered.

“Not long.” Sayu breathed. “Maybe ten minutes.”

She nodded, and looked to Chief Yagami, eyes filled with the enormity of her gratitude. “Thank you.” She said quietly.

He knew what it meant. It was so many things rolled up into one. Thank you for explaining everything to your coworkers. Thank you for being here when he needed you. Thank you for accepting him and standing up for him. Thank you for trusting me with his wellbeing.

And, in response to all those unspoken sentiments, Chief Yagami smiled softly at her, and gave her a nod. It was perhaps the first time that he’d really felt any form of kinship with the woman his son loved. Perhaps because it was the first time that he realized that they both shared a common goal: Keeping his son safe. She’d proven her love for his child so many times, saving him from the jaws of death that seemed to yawn open to welcome him there. Seeing what she’d gone through to keep him safe and protect him, and how she’d worked so hard to be able to provide for him even when he couldn’t do so in this state- that was how he knew. She really loved Light. And would do whatever it took to keep him safe- just as he himself would. And for a moment, the ghost of a smile tried to play at his face.

It was then that the rest of the task force seemed to emerge from their respective tasks. The bedroom had been finally cleaned, and they were confident that not one glass shard or splinter remained on the floor. What had taken the most time had making sure no shards or splintered wood had gotten into any of Misa’s jewelry. They’d painstakingly checked every necklace, bracelet, earring, and ring, just to be certain that it all was clear. And once they were sure, they had looked for any blood that might have gotten onto it from Misa’s crash into the vanity, and cleaned it. It had been quiet work, full of small details. But they felt they owed it to her, and to Light, to make sure that no evidence of this day remained in their home. At that point it wasn’t duty that drove any of them. Rather, it was a mutually felt need to help one another overcome trauma in whatever way they could.

Any animosity she might have felt for their unceremonious barging into her home had been mitigated in the hours since they had arrived. Although she hadn’t been happy with the fact that they’d used a key Light had given them without his or her permission, they had had good reasons and had tried to let her know they were coming. More so, however, Shigetoki Momotami’s brother had proved such a savage enemy that the infractions of the Task Force seemed minor in comparison. However, it didn’t mean that she trusted any of them with the weight of their secret. She knew what Chief Yagami had told them by virtue of her apartment’s close quarters and thin walls, but she was perceptive enough to realize that they were aware they didn’t have the whole story. It was perhaps time to rectify that. Better to do so now in the calm after the storm than when another war they were fighting reached it’s apogee.

She walked over to them, herding them toward the table and smiling a little. “Sit. Please.”

Perhaps nervously, they obeyed. If only to be polite.

“Can I get you all some tea? This might be a long talk.”

They nodded, and exchanged glances, unsure of what would be said.

It didn’t take long at all for Misa to prepare them and herself green tea. Pouring it for each of them, she set the teapot in the middle of the table. It was quiet for a moment, as Misa weighed what she wanted to say to them, before she spoke. 

“What is said at this table doesn’t leave this apartment.” She said, articulating every word clearly. They all nodded, a bit curious as to what was going on.

After a moment, she spoke. “I’m sure you all remember when I was kidnapped and Light was upset.” There was a collective nodding. “When that happened, he wasn’t himself. He was a younger version of himself. He has... We call it a “little side”. He wants to be able to be a kid for a while sometimes. Usually about five years old. With the stress of the task force... I don’t need to tell you all that it can be overwhelming. And when it gets to be too much, that’s how he copes with it. I take care of him, and sometimes if I have to leave Sayu cares for him for me. And what’s happening now is an extreme way of this happening. It’s not his usual age. I know that it might be unusual, but I also don’t want this to change how you think of him. He’s still the same person he’s been. He’s just dealing with what he’s been through differently.I’m just asking that your respect for him doesn’t get lost because of the way he’s handling it.”

Silence descended over them like a crashing wave. Nobody moved. Nobody breathed. It was a tense tableau, as though it were a moment captured in time rather than anything that could have come out of real life. And then, after a few beats, her words seemed to sink in. The table began to revive itself. It was somewhat of a cop out, she knew, to do this when Chief Yagami was in the next room, but it was her insurance that he wouldn’t be judged unfairly all the same.

“So Light, he really is like this sometimes?” Matsuda asked, still trying to process what had been said.  
  
“Not like this, no. Usually he’s older. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened.”  
  
Aizawa managed to form a coherent sentence. “Was he that way when the two of you were…?” He didn’t have to finish. Everyone knew what he’d meant.  
  
Misa nodded softly. “Yes. And it was the only reason we were both able to get out alive.” She said. “Because I was able to trick him into thinking Light wasn’t a threat to him, and that he was dead.”  
  
There wasn’t a whole lot any of them could say to that. The proof was iron clad.  
  
“Would he be angry with you for telling us?” Mogi asked, contemplative.  
  
“Considering what happened, I don’t think so. Especially since all of you being here saved both of our lives. I just don’t know how long it will take him to… to come back, I guess. From wherever he’s gone.” She said, slowly.

“Where do you think he’s gone?” Ide asked, throwing out the question.  
  
She contemplated that, and was quiet for a long while. “I don’t know.” She said. “Hopefully someplace better than here.”  
  
Collectively, albeit mutely, they had all decided to keep this to themselves. Though it was never spoken aloud, Misa had sensed their unified commitment, and was grateful for it. Although she suspected they each had their own thoughts on the matter, she didn’t dare broach the subject, lest she have one more negative thing to drag her down on a day that had been hard enough already.  
  
Afterward, it had descended into a quiet hour. Misa imagined that this might have been what it would be like at a dinner party after dessert had been served. Some contemplative talking, sipping of tea, and no one hurrying to leave. Perhaps it was because they felt satisfied having brought one person to justice today, even if it wasn’t Kira. L had been notified of what had happened, and he’d ordered them to stay until nightfall. The task force assumed it was to make certain no one else lurked in the shadows for them, when in truth L wanted someone there to know if there was anything out of the ordinary in the apartment that could have led through a breakthrough on the case or incriminated Light. But, as it was, he kept his motives to himself, and left behind only orders which were to be strictly obeyed.  
  
During quiet times, chaos tended to come to them and rise noisily. But today, chaos decided to stir not with noise, but with the opening of two amber eyes.  
  


* * *

When I try and make my eyes open they try and go back shut, like they’re stuck together with glue. But I have to make them open. Everything is all confusing and my head is all cloudy but I make my eyes open. When they do, everything is all wrong. It’s all melted on the edges and clear in the middle. I almost panic and think they’re broken, when I remember that sometimes the sandman likes to leave extra in my eyes, and I rub them with my hands.

The meltedy parts go away, and I feel a little better. When my eyes are at their full sharpness again, I realize I’m laying on Daddy’s lap. When did Daddy get here? When I went to sleep I was big but now I’m here and I’m not, and I don’t know how. Daddy looks down at me, his eyes are wide open.  
  
“Light?”  
  
I rub my eye again. I’m not sleepy but I’m not awake all the way. “Daddy?”  
  
Daddy gives me the biggerest smile and a hug to match.  
  
Daddy hugs me too tight and all the air goes out of me, _woosh_. I don’t tell him though, because Daddy doesn’t hug me lots and I miss it when he doesn’t. When Daddy lets go, I see Sissy sitting by him, giving me a big smile. And if Sissy’s here, that means-  
  
Wait. Where’s Mama?  
  
My body is all wiggly and jiggly like a jelly but I make me get up. My legs are like noodles because they don’t want to go straight but I make them do it, because I have to know.  
  
“Mama?” I call.  
  
Suddenly there’s a scratchy sound in the next room and somebody running fasterer than I ever heared.  
  
I look at the door, and I see Mama there running toward me, and I almost fall down because I’m so happy. She scoops me into a hug and gives me the biggerest kiss before she puts her hands on my shoulders, trying to help me stay up. Her face looks worried, but it’s still the most beautifulest one I ever sawed.

“How are you feeling, sweetie? Are you okay?” She asks, and she puts her hand down my cheek.  
  
My brain is still all confused, but I try to answer. “I think I gotted tucked away again.”  
  
Mama looks confused. “What do you mean you got ‘tucked away’?” She asks.  
  
Silly Mama. She knows what it is. She did it. “Like when you put me in the closet so I got hided but instead I got hided in my remembery.”  
  
I can tell when Mama knows what I’m saying. Her face changes. “Where did you go when you were tucked away?”  
  
The question is hard for my brain but I make it try anyways. “Lots of places.”  
  
“Like where?” She asks and she smooths my hair so there’s no pointy bits.  
  
“The park and bed and when you singed to me in the hopsicle.”  
  
Mama smiles, all glittery white. “Was it fun?”  
  
That’s silly. “Uh huh!” I tell her, but I’m tired of saying already.  
  
She can tell I think, because she asks me. “Are you hungry?”  
  
I wasn’t but now I am because she said. I nod.  
  
“I’ll make you anything you like.” She says, but her eyes are all glittery like stars.  
  
I frown. “Why you’re sad?”  
  
She smiles, but I don’t think it’s for real. “I’m not sad. I’m happy to see you. I just missed you so much.” She says and gives me a kiss.  
  
I think it’s true, what she said, but I feel like she got tired of saying too soon too.  
  
“Can I have Bobo and a sandwich?”  
  
She smiles, and it’s for real this time for sure. “Of course you can.” She says and kisses me again. Then, she goes and gets Bobo for me. I give him big hugs since it feels like forever since I seen him, but it wasn’t. He asks questions about where I went when I was tucked away but I don’t say. I can feel peoples looking at me and I don’t like it. I don’t look at them, because it’s too scary. I go and sit with Daddy and Sissy. They’re all smiley and happy to see me for real. Daddy doesn’t say anything, but he’s got his hand on my shoulder and it makes me feel small. I like that. Sissy doesn’t say anything. I think she and Mama think the same because she’s all quiet. I feel her nervous like I felt Mama’s and I don’t know what’s making it so hard. But my brain isn’t all the way better yet neither.  
  
Mama comes with a sandwich quick quick, and I’m so hungry I eat it all up in a few minutes. Did I not eat today? I don’t know. I should ask.  
  
Before I can, Mama talks. “Light?"  
  
I look up at her. “Huh?”  
  
She gets down like a frog to be in front of me so my face is the same tall as her face. “Do you remember what made you tuck yourself away? Can you tell me?” She asks, and pushes some hair from my face.  
  
Flashes like from a movie go in front of my eyes even though I can still see from them, and I go all stiff like a robot. I make me say even when I don’t like it. “No. Don’t want to.”  
  
The whole room goes all quiet. It’s too quiet in my ears even. Then, Mama talks.  
  
“It’s okay if it’s scary.” She says. Her voice is the one she uses when I have bad dreams. “But it won’t get better until you say what happened.”

I don’t want to be saying but I don’t know if I can not say. I’m quiet a long time, then I talk. “The dirt.” I say. “It never comed off.” It’s so quiet.  
  
Mama is confused. I try and make her know with my eyes but she doesn’t. “What dirt, Light?”  
  
I can’t look at her. “On your neck.”  
  
I’m trying not to see but I can’t help it. I look at Mama’s face and her eyes are all sad. I’m trying to not think it but I’m not doing good. I have to keep saying, now that I started.  
  
“He maked you be dead. And I hided in the closet all the way. And the slidy door opened and he came…” I’m trying to not cry but it’s hard to not. “He looked and grabbed you by the hair and I watched through the open bit in the closet. He sawed me looking and he standed up and went over to the door and-“  
  
I’m crying so hard and my words are going all together like they’re not even words. There’s wet all over my face and my breath comes out all whoopy. I try and say that I can tell more but it comes out as word soup. Mama scoops me up in her arms and kisses me, and hugs me so tight that I can’t fly apart.

I cry so hard it feels like my eyes are going to melt. Mama hugs me and says things in my ear but I can’t hear her. It’s too loud. After a while, I can hear what she’s saying.

“Can you calm down for me or do you need more time?”

But I can’t. I’m too small. I shake my head because the words won’t come out. Mama rubs my back.

“That’s okay. We can wait right here. I’m right here.”

Her words make me feel an itty bit better but I can’t stop yet. 

I cry and cry until I have no more tears in me. After that, Mama Waits until I can breathe reg’lar again and then sits me in her lap.

“Sweetie, Mama needs to tell you something.” Uh oh. Mama is using her serious voice.

“Am I in trouble?” I ask, and try and think if I did anything bad.

“No, no. Of course not.” She says quick quick. “You didn’t do anything wrong at all.” 

I breathe. Mama does it too, out and loud.

“The Man, he can’t hurt us anymore.” She says slowly.

My whole body goes still. Even my breathing stops a whole five seconds.

“The Man is dead.” She says.

My brain is like a big ball of string- I don’t know how to unscramble it. I open my mouth but no noise comes out. I don’t understand.

Then, a word comes. “H-How?”

Mama looks like she’s trying to find something. I think it’s words. “When you were tucked away, a lot of things happened.” She says, careful. “Your Daddy made sure he can’t hurt anymore, including both of us.”

I don’t know what to think. I don’t think I’m thinking at all. Things is moving too fast and I don’t know what to do.

I tug on Mama’s top. I need milks now.

Mama waits a second, and it scares me. “Why you did that?” My voice is all shaky.

Mama shakes her head. “Sorry, baby. Mama got tucked away for a second.” She says, and her top clicks before I can have milks.

I want them, but I’m wondering and I need to ask. “Where did you go to?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She says. It makes my brain go back to when we was stoled. When Mama hurled, she told me “If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.” I don’t believe her when she’s saying now.

“It does matter and I do mind!” I’m nearly shouting but she’s lying to try and make me okay and that’s not okay neither.

Mama sighs big. “When you were tucked away Mama hit her head. And when you were having milks one of the- the ambulance people said I was sick.”

I stare. “Why he said you was sick? Did you throw up?”

“Not that kind of sick, sweetie. He meant it like you having milks and me giving it to you was a bad thing.”

“Why he said-“

“People say lots of things when they don’t understand something.” She says.

“You’re not bad, Mama.” I say. Then, a terrible idea comes. I don’t want to say it but it comes anyway. I look up at her. “Am I bad because I want milks?”

It’s the scariest question I ever asked because I don’t want to be bad but I need my milks. Thinking it makes me want to cry, so I try and make me stop but it’s not working and I feel the wet on my face.

Mama’s answer is quick quick but not enough to get my tears to stop before they start. “No.” Her voice is like when I’m in trouble and she’s punishing me with time out except this is different. “There’s nothing wrong with you asking for anything that makes you feel better, or something that you need. Mama just got mad for a minute because the ambulance man wasn’t nice about it. That’s all. It wasn’t anything you did. You’re not bad, and you will never be bad. Okay?”

I nod. I feel better now, and I’m thirsty. I have my milks and it’s good.

* * *

As Misa nursed Light, Aizawa, Ide, Mogi, and Matsuda were attempting to come to terms with what they had witnessed. Conceptually, the arrangement Light had with Misa made an odd sort of sense. Relieving stress by having someone else take care of things was a logical conclusion to come to, and they’d all been able to agree to not tell about this secret using that collective thought process. What they struggled with now was how to process this now that they had witnessed Light’s so-termed “Little self”.

None of them could deny the dramatic difference in behavior between the Light they knew and the one who was with them now. They had perhaps tried to rationalize this as a game of pretend, a role play of sorts, in order to process what they had been told. But seeing it now, it was clear this wasn’t a game. To them, it perhaps bordered on split personality. A case of Dr. Jekyll and (in this case) Mr. Five. Light’s comprehension, motor functions, and speech were clearly drastically limited in this state of being.

However, despite the difficulty they had processing all of this, it somehow didn’t feel as wrong as they thought it might have felt to witness such a thing. Though his body remained the same, it was obvious that his mental state was radically altered, and it was easier, somehow, to feel for him when they looked at him not as a coworker but rather as a person who had endured significant trauma and was finding a way to cope with it. The little boy inside of him who had clearly had some unmet needs had climbed his way into Light’s consciousness and demanded those needs be met in order to deal with the enormity of the stress he was under.

It was easy to forget how young Light was when his intellect was (admittedly) leaps and bounds ahead of much of their task force. This young man of barely twenty years of age had voluntarily thrust himself into the biggest mass murder the world had ever seen, effectively putting a target on his back when many members of the NPA had turned their backs on the case. Someone so young, not even out of college, was taking on something that even the members of the task force found grisly and disturbing. The burden he was expected to bear in order to assist them would be too much for anyone to bear without some kind of release.

As they watched, silent statues in the next room, they saw Light’s body relax and practically melt into Misa. She stroked his hair and murmured softly to him, a mother comforting a child from a terrible fright. They saw the way he looked up at her, as though she could solve all of his problems just by virtue of her presence. And in that moment, one by one, they accepted him completely. With the emotional baggage he carried, his coping skill of choice could have been far more destructive, and although this one _was_ bizarre, there were much worse things out there he could have been doing.

It didn’t take long afterward for them to realize that it was sunset, and that it was time to go. Orders or no orders, they all felt they had overstayed their welcome. With a nod to Chief Yagami they said a silent goodbye and exited the apartment, leaving the Yagami family and Misa to have some time alone.

Chief Yagami himself had no axe to grind with his son nursing in front of him. Although it wasn’t a comfortable sight, his utter relief at his son being safe and having come back from being “tucked away” (as he’d put it) was so great that nothing else really mattered to him. He basked in the knowledge that his son had felt safe enough to sleep in his lap even when he had been not completely there, and even more, that Light had been happy to see him when he woke. The knowledge of that he was able to provide those simple things eased the weight of the guilt that had been dragging him down for years. And finally, he felt some peace inside of him that went deep into his bones.

Sayu, in the meantime, simply felt relieved. Light was himself again, Misa was unharmed, and their captor had gotten what was coming to him. Her world, turned on it’s head since Light’s major regression had began, had finally righted itself. The worry left her face, leaving her able to smile again with bright eyes. As long as her family was safe, that was all that mattered.

When Light had finished nursing, Chief Yagami turned to his son.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Light. But I have to get home now. Your mother is waiting for me.” He said.

Light nodded. “Can you come play tomorrow after work, Daddy?”

Chief Yagami smiled, surprising himself with its authenticity. “I’d like that.”

With a small cheer, Light hugged his father happily. When Soichiro let go, Sayu stepped into his line of vision.

“I’d better get going too, little brother. I have school tomorrow. But I have some free time this weekend. How about we go to the park together?”

Beaming, he nodded. “We can make sandcattles.”

Chuckling softly at the bungling of the word, she nodded. “I can’t wait.”

The two of them shared a hug, and she gave one to Misa, before following after her father.

With the apartment emptied again, Misa felt a hundred pounds lighter. Pressing a kiss to her little boy’s head, she savored the peace in this moment. All was as it should have been.

When Light began to squirm in her lap, she took him for a change, distracting him with questions about what he’d like for dinner. When she changed him into a new diaper, some sleep pants, and a soft shirt, she set about making dinner. Through every step of the way, she relished in hearing him chat to her about all the things on his mind.

After a dinner of some miso soup, ginger pork, and yakisoba, the both of them felt the exhaustion of the day run them down. Regardless of the naps they’d taken, neither of them had slept through the night in almost two weeks, and it had drained them.

Misa made sure to check if he needed a change before the two of them laid in bed, and she nursed him one last time for the day. She watched his eyes begin fluttering between sleep and wakefulness, eventually becoming heavy and closing just as he unlatched himself from her with a contented sigh.

Cuddling Bobo, he whispered, “Night Mama. Love you.” Before he popped his pacifier into his mouth to nurse in his sleep.

Misa felt a grateful smile work it’s way onto her face. All of her hard work the past few weeks had all been made worth it with those few simple words. She got under the covers, and settled in before she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“Goodnight, sweet boy. I love you too.” She whispered, her soul finally at peace for the first time in months. Then, cuddling him closely to her, she fell asleep.


End file.
